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The Transformers 4 Trailer Paradox

The new Transformers: Extinction trailer looks really good. Which is sad because it’s obviously going to be as terrible as the others.

In case you hadn’t heard, there’s a new trailer for Transformers: Extinction out (aka, Transformers 4). Watch it after the jump:

Lots to talk about here.

First, who doesn’t love Mark Wahlberg?

Whatever you thought of the Funky Bunch, he’s proved he’s a solid actor these days. And he was in the very awesome but underrated Pain & Gain last year WHICH WAS A MICHAEL BAY FILM, YOU GUYS! You put Marky-Mark in a movie and I’m going to be excited.

Second, there’s a plot.

Here’s where our hope begins to swell. So WATCH OUT! Previous Transformers films also seemed to have plots, especially in the trailers. The Beef even went to college in one – and as much as we try, we can’t forget that that plotline gave us a super-hot-female-transformer-robot-college-student that made not an ounce of sense and robot testicles.

So does it matter that the world is a sort of post-Transformers-trilogy world where people actually know about them and have created technology to fight them? No. Michael Bay isn’t going to do anything with that concept.

Third, Dinobots.

Dinobot. DINOBOTS. My inner 9-year-old has been irrationally shrieking for Dinobots in a Transformers film since the first one. That same inner child is convinced that there’s no way they can mess up Dinobots.

Of course, that same child stubbornly insisted the same thing about Transformers in general, only to be beaten into whimpering submission by the first three films.

Maybe Michael Bay thinks Dinobots will keep me from asking where the Decepticons got yet another huge fleet of warships, while the Autobots can only find a few more carbots to throw at bullets and lasers.

Don’t be fooled. This movie will be terrible. I wish it weren’t true. I hope it’s not true. But it’s fact. Get used to it.

At least the trailer’s cool. And it has dinosaurs in it.

YOUR TURN: Are you excited for Transformers 4? Will you see it in the theater?

By JR. Forasteros

JR. lives in Dallas, TX with his wife Amanda. In addition to exploring the wonders that are the Lone Star state, JR. is the teaching pastor at Catalyst Community Church, a writer and blogger. His book, Empathy for the Devil, is available from InterVarsity Press. He's haunted by the Batman, who is in turn haunted by the myth of redemptive violence.